My Bug About Bags.

"Designer Handbags" by allaboutreplica

As well as being shoe crazy, I am rather bag crazy, though in a different way. I love many, many shoes, but I love very few bags. I am a bag snob, a bag elitest, a bag snubber.

My main bug with bags is that there are far too few that accomplish being both functional AND stylish. I do not understand why this combination is so tricky to perform - maybe I have a different set of standards than those of the rest of the world. But it seems to me that any sane-minded person would desire an ultra-compartmental, ultra-pocketed bag that is also stylish enough that it doesn't look like I am dragging around a glorified pocket protector. Is this so wrong?

Far too often I eye a gloriously constructed bag from across a store, only to be sorely disappointed when I pull back the zipper, clasp, or other closure device. Whether it is big and chunky, small and dainty, or mid-sized and manageable, exteriors aside, designer bags are often just a sack, and that bothers me deeply.


"Louis Vuitton Voyager Handbag, Prague" by julie3jax

My bag must be so much more than a sack. It is my life containment unit, the vessel for which I choose to carry all the accruments i deem necessary in my daily life. That means books, wallet, technology and a variety of tiny implements. When you toss all of those into a simple sack, do you know what you have?

A nightmare, that is what you have.

Similarly, every time I find a bag that can actually add a little order to my life, it tends to be hideous. On several occasions I have found myself contemplating the purchase of a piss poor looking bag, simply because those are the ones that tend to be organizational miracles. They also look like the equivalent of wearing a non-ironic fanny pack. And it is not a question of lack of talent - because there is a rising market of bags coming out that ARE incredibly compartmental - they are just not being marketed to me. I was recently admiring the computer bag my CD picked up. It was super - it had pen and pencil holders, and was riddled with compartments and sections galore. It was also pvc - a charcoal black, bulky man-bag, and a very nice one at that. It's great for guys, but there's no way I would be caught carry one.


"jimmy-choo-face-bag" by Kevin the Collie

Designers of the world, hear me. I believe we can DO THIS. We have the technology. We have the wallets. The modern woman of today is carrying hella' more than a compact and handkerchief. We are professionals, students, mothers. We have a MOUNTAIN of stuff to carry around, and we have no time to waste rifling in our purses looking for lost lip gloss.

We love your bags. Love them so much we will go as far as to LEASE them, like they were Buicks. But you have to do something for us in return - make bags that fit our needs. Next time you make one of those giant sack-purses that are all the rage, try chucking a divider or two in that thing, maybe even more than a single zippered pocket. Why must my cell phone, keys and Altoids all vie for that coveted pocket? Is there a moratorium on zippers??

I dream of a day, not too far in the future, when I can have a bag as beautiful on the inside, as it is on the outside. Like Oprah Winfrey, except with a convenient shoulder strap.