New York City Finally Gets Some Direction

Once upon a time, I lived in a land called Philadelphia. Philadelphia had a lot of nice features: one could ride a bicycle through the whole thing in 45 minutes; there was this magical thing called a “Citywide Special” that almost every bar offered, which consisted of a Pabst Blue Ribbon and a shot of Jim Bean for $3. But by far my favorite and most utilized feature of the city was something I took it for granted the entirety of my time there: the cardinal destinations printed on the corners of every single street sign in the entire city.

Fast-forward several years: I am in New York; I have been here almost two years. However, I STILL cannot find my way around this dang town, and every time I try to glean directions from my computer, it feeds me the entirely useless instruction to “Head East.”

I have not now, nor ever been a member of the Girl Scouts of America (my mother was worried I would be eaten by a bear, but that’s another story). East means as much to me as “Head Blue.”

At first, I thought that this problem was surely a discrepancy on my part. There HAD to be some secret sigil I was missing to direct the pedestrian to head in the correct direction. I asked my boyfriend, a resident here for half a decade, and he simply shook his head, and with the same tone one would address a child trying to tie a bow said, “Just look for the Empire State Building.” Which is fine, sound advice, but for some reason, no matter how politely I asked them, the rest of the buildings refused to bend down so I could see this building that is apparently so important to my navigation.

Undaunted, I started to ask other New Yorkers, and I discovered something: I was not alone. Almost everybody I spoke to knew where places were based solely on landmarks – including directions. If you wanted to find East, you had to have some idea where you were in terms of a landmark. And if you didn’t have that, well, you were fucked. Or at the very least, walking a pot-shot block to get yourself some context.

Fortunately, it seems the bigwigs of New York have noticed this little problem as well. And while it may not be AS convenient as marked street signs, it sure is pretty:

I love the style of the decals – the elegant compass feels quite classy and well made, particularly after the taxi cab logo fiasco (to be discussed later).

However, I do have some real concerns about this solution. Firstly, the decals are great, but the GROUND? I can see it now, meandering through a swarm of people, asking businessmen to please move their leg so I can find out which way north is. These will become absolutely useless in any high volume area, say, in front of Grand Central Terminal: the very place they launched the signs.

Also, I am very hesitant about the fact they are decals. I am not privy to what they are made of, but it better be some pretty strong stuff to withstand thousands of thousands of footsteps, day-in and day-out. Alas, I suppose time will tell, but at least it’s a start in the right direction.